The Baweanese and Marriage in Islam

(Aqad Nikah)

''Kabhein pokol. Tak kabhein pokol.'' was the phrase concerning marriage that I used to hear during the time I was living in Pondok Kelompang Gubuk. Literally, it means ''Got beaten in marriage. Got beaten in avoiding marriage.'' It was often spoken in the past by the Singaporean Baweanese in cases whereby a marriage was done hurriedly due to illicit acts done by the concern couple who was in love.

During the era of Pondok life, whenever a couple was caught dating, the guy was made responsible for the action. He was strongly demanded by the parents of the lady to marry their daughter. The couple was required to be married to each other without having the chance of defending themselves on their standings towards the marriage. This culture was one of the Baweanese ways in handling their young on pre-marital issues in the attempt to avoid fornication among these youngsters. Such practice was influenced by Islam through its teaching concerning the matter on marriage.

In Islam pre-marital activities conducted by unmarried couple are not permissible. Hence, according to the understanding of the Baweanese on this matter, young couples that were caught red-handed while going out together especially to watch movies and holding hands while walking, had shown the desire to conduct pre-marital activities that could lead to fornication hence, in this sense, the couple were better off to be married to each other as soon as possible.

Being Muslims, the Baweanese conducted their marriages in accordance with the Shari'ah Law. According to Islam, once a girl starts to menstruate, she has reached the age of puberty and considered as a young adult. Similarly, once a boy starts to experience the 'wet dream', it is a sign that he has attained adulthood. Thus, such girl and boy had attained the legal age to get married. In order to protect their young from committing fornication, the Baweanese used to practice the culture of marrying their wards at a very young age, i.e. as soon as they reached the age of puberty.

Before the 1950s, the Singaporean Baweanese used to marry-off their daughters as young as eight years old. My paternal aunt is a living proof! She was only eight years old during the time she was married-off towards the late 1940s, to her husband who was then about three times her senior. My grandmothers and grand-aunties were all among those who married at a very young age since they menstruated at the age between ten and twelve.

It was the culture of the past Baweanese descents living in Singapore to arrange their daughters for marriage once these girls attained the age of puberty. Generally these young adults would be married off to a suitor whom the parents had in their opinion that he had the ability to support and take care of their daughters' welfare and well-being. The potential candidates were normally those in their twenties, holding stable jobs.

Especially during the Japanese Occupation (15th February 1942 to 15th August 1945), such practice was common not only among the Baweanese but among Muslims in different community too. According to my maternal grandma, at that period it was a necessity to the Bawean people and other Muslims living in Singapore as well as those living in the Malay Peninsula to get their young daughters to be married in order to protect them from being taken away by the Japanese troops. During that time, girls as young as ten were snatched away from their parents to fill up the brothels set-up for the purpose of ''entertaining'' the Japanese soldiers to satisfy their sexual needs.

While the culture of ''Kabhein pokol. Tak kabhein pokol'' has long gone together with the Baweanese culture of living in Pondok, the culture of marriage among young adults is generally no longer in practice by the Singaporean Baweanese of today generations. This is due to the changing mind-set of the Bawean people and their life-style living in the era of 21st century Singapore. Moreover marriages among young adults are discouraged by the Singapore Shari'ah Court.